Hansel came to visit me in Vancouver in March 2010 and we took a mini road trip down to Portland, Oregon eating everything from Jack In the Box burgers, pastrami sandwiches, all-you-can-eat sushi and assorted grilled meats. I am pretty sure I gained 5kg that week but what can you do? Dieting at a drive thru burger joint is frowned upon.

Our first stop was Seattle where we stumbled upon a cute little soup and sandwich joint in Belltown, close to Pike Place Market. Pastrami sandwich was delicious and filling and came with the most delightfully pickly pickle.

Next stop was Portland. Everyone was super friendly here – it was unnerving at first but very pleasing overall. We stayed at the downtown Hilton which was walking distance to dozens of street food carts that served everything from Mexican enchiladas to steaming bowls of Vietnamese food. Mmmm. Delicious. Someone even screamed out at Hansel that they liked his pink shirt. I LOLed of course.

After getting a recommendation from my friend Aidan and consulting food blogs and internet reviews, we set out in search of the best burger in Portland. We decided to check out Skyline, an old school diner just outside of the downtown core. We drove through some trees and fog and finally found it on top of a hill. It looked like something out of the 1960s and the inside didn’t disappoint with its red vinyl booths and old-fashioned menus. We both ordered cheeseburgers with fries and a side of onion rings while I had the coke float and Hansel had the kiwi milkshake.

The burgers arrived a bit cold, the meat patty was uninspiring and so were the fries. The onion rings were delicious but overall we were disappointed with our burger experience. The drinks were scrumptious but didn’t make up for the subpar burger. The diner was fun and kitschy so we’re glad we checked it out but next time we’re in Portland and have a bit more time to explore, we’ll continue our search for the perfect juicy burger.

J-Trak and I had some lame group on voucher that we needed to redeem so went to Satori in Knightsbridge. Not much to say about it. Incredibly dull place.

That’s some soft shell crab. Which tasted of nothing. Maybe I’m just still feeling slightly annoyed at the way they wouldn’t let us sit where we wanted to in the empty restaurant because we had a voucher. What’s the point of using, what I assume is, a loss leading promotion in order to get people through the door of your restaurant if you are going to make them feel like  shit when they arrive? I miss Tanuki’s Cave and Renkon so much. Can’t wait to take Jen to both of them when we are in New Zealand over March.

So after the blahness of Satori Robata we wanted to find some interesting dessert so we went to SNOG. Which I have walked past a few times. There aren’t that many places to go just for dessert. I liked the decor. It’s nice to be inside somewhere bright and crazy every now and again since London has a certain thing about dour interiors.

So that was nice. The frozen yoghurt was good to. Jen’s apple crumble beating my standard blueberry. Though the fresh pomegranate that I had on top was nice and astringent. Then we called it a night. Because tomorrow was Saturday and we had a big gay wedding to go to.

We both forgot to eat yesterday because we were so focused on buying brand new smart phones. An iPhone 4 for Trak and a Google Nexus S for me. Which is why we ended up eating Filet-O-Fish burgers, with added fries, at midnight in Oxford Circus.

The anticipation was immense. The perfect winter meal to try and launch yourself into the next weight class.

Ingredients: Lasagna sheets, spinach, aubergine, onion, canned chopped tomatoes, salty white cheese, cheddar, bechamel, salt and pepper, garlic… other things I can’t remember.

Poppy, the house cat, lulling me into a false sense of security that we were kindred spirits.

See how angelic she looks while she sleeps. This isn’t over yet, cat.

Trak and I hadn’t left the house in 2011 yet. So Tate Britain and then…

Korean explosion/meal at Assa: Kimchi Broth, Squid in Spicy Sauce, Kimchi and Seafood pancake + banchan for £26 including service.

Assa
53 St. Giles High Street, Charing Cross, London WC2H 8LH.

You know when you really really want something? And it seems like you are never going to ever get it?

And then it finally arrives on Christmas Eve. This is what it looks like when you are waiting at Gatwick airport for your wife to walk through the gate at 6am.

I’ve never seen the 1961 movie, Babes in Toyland, But I used to have a really colourful puzzle of it as a child. Something about the phrase is just really perfect. Which might explain why five movies with that name have been made.  Anyway, Gatwick on Christmas Eve morning felt like adult toyland and I was ready to freak the fuck out and lose my shit, like a 5 year old, if anything happened to delay that plane.